I’ve been told that I am cocky, headstrong, arrogant, etc… I hate to lose. I want to be the best at everything and will do whatever (without cheating) to do it. In middle school, our basketball team continuously made it to the Diocese Championship (Catholic School – whats up). In fact, if we didn’t make it to the championship game, our season felt incomplete. Our summer softball team was probably the best around. I’d like to think that if we all played at the same high school we would have a couple of state championships under our belts. Then I played sports in high school and it was my first dose of losing and losing A LOT. I hated every second of every game I have ever played in and lost. We just didn’t have the talent within the school district and that was always hard to accept. I think this is truly where I started to hate to lose.
Okay, not going to lie. When I am bored I often find myself strolling through Pinterest looking at quotes. I literally just search quotes. Whatever shows up, shows up. I usually get lost in it. Today, after work, waiting for the Yankees game to start, I exhausted all social media so I turned to Pinterest to search quotes. I found one today that totally sums up how I look at things but never realized it.
So if you have a hard time understanding my mind or my mindset – there it is.
I never lose. Either I win or I learn.
Life is about learning. If I could be a life long college student, I would be. I love school. I love the smell of the library. I love typing papers. I love reading books and highlighting the “important” parts. I love sitting in class watching the professor talk about their passion. I love to learn and I think that is why I never lose. If you have something to teach me, you better believe I want to know about it. I’ll probably have AT LEAST 5 follow up questions, so be prepared. You’ll get bonus points in my book if it is something that you are passionate about.
I don’t think I like the final congratulations of “Hey Lauren, you’re number one!” I mean, I like it a little but I don’t love it. I LOVE the journey. I love rolling up my sleeves, thinking outside the box, and getting to where ever I need to go. I like to see the first day vs. the last day.
BUT, if I win, you better believe I am going to gloat and probably brag about it for a few days, or months or whatever. If I don’t win or I am not successful, I am pretty hard on myself and probably don’t want to talk about it with anyone except a few people that I trust. I want to know where I went wrong. What I could have done better. It is honestly pretty hard for me to shut off my brain after getting constructive criticism. My old store manager said it was one of my strengths but I don’t think he knew how hard I was on myself. I HATE to make the same mistake twice and don’t do it very often, probably because I am so hard on myself. Even though people call me cocky, I am the first to admit if I did something wrong. I am not ashamed of it. I think I’ve come to realize that I am not ashamed because I like to learn from my mistakes. I like to make sure that the people around me don’t make the same mistakes that I have made.
So in the spirit of learning, I have changed my mindset. I don’t think I’ll say that I hate to lose ever again. I will in the most humble way possible say that I never lose, either I win or I learn.